In our latest conversation, we had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Paul Donovan, a seasoned leadership expert and author of Bosses Behaving Badly.
With over two decades of experience, Paul has dedicated his career to helping leaders transform how they manage power, stress, and workplace dynamics. Through his work as the Director of The Change Company, Paul shares his unique insights into creating healthier, more compassionate work environments, emphasising the importance of high-quality dialogue, self-awareness, and work-life balance.
Paul, you’ve spent over two decades helping leaders transform their approach to management. What first inspired you to focus on changing how bosses use their power?
It became clear to me that the best and worst of bosses was centred around power use. When they most upset us, scare us, or disappoint us, it is about the clumsy, sloppy or unconscious use of the power invested in their role. It is obvious to us that they are using power, but usually not obvious to them.
Likewise, when they most inspire, unite or elevate us, it’s because they are using the power invested in their role in a brave and purpose-centred way.
In your book, Bosses Behaving Badly, you talk about the stress that middle managers face. How do you think this stress impacts their leadership style, and what can be done to help them manage it better?
Managing the stress of being a manager is, for most managers, the central question around their effectiveness as managers. The less well they manage that stress, the more “reactive” behaviours they will engage in, and the poorer manager they will be. All of those reactive behaviours will be misuses of power.
What to do about it? Start by recognising the reactive behaviours that they engage in when they are stressed. The short term objective of these behaviours is to momentarily reduce their feelings of stress, but will ultimately undermine their effectiveness in the medium and long term. These behaviours include getting snappy, dismissive, avoiding taking the time to give regular feedback, not asking for feedback, avoiding difficult conversation and doing far too much telling.
You emphasise the importance of high-quality dialogue among senior teams. What are some practical ways leaders can start having these ‘better conversations’ in their daily work?
Begin by pausing at the end of the meeting and asking “how did we go in that meeting? Let’s take 5 min to reflect on how we performed in that meeting. How effective was our dialogue?”
Also, clarify your team norms. Research shows that teams who clarify the ground rules for how they want to work together by naming a few desired behaviours, do better.
Your approach to leadership coaching includes a strong focus on compassion and self-awareness. How do you encourage leaders to cultivate these qualities, especially in high-pressure environments?
Better performing senior teams have a coach. Get a team coach, and if possible, get a personal coach too. Then, work with your coach to develop practices of pausing, noticing what creates “spiked” feeling moments throughout the day, and provide a little space for those feelings. Doing that means the awkward, uncomfortable or stressful moments don’t build up in our system and skew your thinking and reactions.
Work-life balance is a big theme in your coaching. How do you help leaders and their teams find that balance, and why do you think it’s so critical to effective leadership?
Overworking is a common reactive pattern to stress and pressure. Most leaders think their problems will be managed if they can just GET MORE DONE. Consequently, they spend unreasonably long hours at work, only to find that the hours needed to finally feel less stressed get more and more.
We need to break that cycle. We need to make deeper inquiry into those reactive patterns and the belief structures driving them, so that a more reasonable balance can be found.
Traditional power dynamics often create barriers in the workplace. What are some of the new approaches you advocate for to help break down these barriers and promote a healthier work culture?
Bosses can engage their teams to clarify a shared purpose and team norms. These two practices are widely effective in disrupting unhelpful power dynamics. Then, as the team leader or manager continues to orient their team around those democratically created purpose statements and norms, a sustained better use of power will emerge. I provide a script for managers to use to facilitate team purpose and team norms in my book, Bosses Behaving Badly.
With your experience and insights, what’s the one piece of advice you’d give to a leader who’s struggling with stress and feeling overwhelmed by their responsibilities?
Get help. Most of us can’t take those first steps on our own. Those first steps are the most fragile and represent the biggest departure from a familiar path. What help? Buy my book and do the exercises. Get a coach and really make that happen! Tell your team we are going to do things differently (and thereby create some accountability).
