Tanya Rutherford is the founder of Learn Grow Become and Queen Be, initiatives dedicated to empowering people through education and support.
From helping adult students return to study with confidence, to supporting women navigating menopause, Tanya’s mission is all about creating opportunities for growth and well-being. In this interview, Tanya shares her journey, the challenges she’s faced, and how she’s helping people thrive in every stage of life.
Tanya, you’re passionate about empowering people through education with your Learn2Learn programs. What inspired you to focus on helping adult students get back into study, and what are the biggest hurdles they face when returning to education?
My life mission is to help people realise their potential and to bring out their best. It’s something that I discovered about myself when I first studied and started coaching back in 2010. It inspired me to focus on the leadership development space, and eventually landed in the University sector tasked with creating a world-class Student Leadership program for CQUniversity.
Whilst I was there I was also looking after the Student Mentoring program and interacting a lot with students and student-mentors. I’d hear their questions and concerns, and see the challenges they were going through trying to manage studies in amongst their busy lives as parents and employees. At this stage I also had a young family of my own and was also studying for my Graduate Certificate in Tertiary Education, so I understood many of the challenges.
The difference was that I was learning about how students learned, because we were learning how to effectively teach students in the course. I had this sudden epiphany that if we taught students how to learn in a way that suited them best, they could succeed regardless of the teaching skills of the lecturer!
BOOM! Learn2Learn started from there.
Two of the biggest hurdles adult students face when returning (or starting) studies are:
- Assumptions in the tertiary sector that students are still the traditional “straight from Uni, Mum and Dad supporting” student (now only about 50%), particularly in those areas not directly connected with individual students. That’s a problem because they forget that studies are not the number one priority in many students’ lives. By the time you take into consideration families and the need to work to put food on the table, study may be at best third on a very busy list. We need to make it as easy as possible for these students to focus on learning and not on navigating increasingly complex systems.
- Mindset and Confidence. For many students it’s been a long time since they entered a classroom, and they may never have experienced the undirected learning style of a University. They may have felt quite confident in the other roles in their lives and suddenly they are no longer an expert. Alternatively they may be looking for studies to help them create a life they want, and discover that signing up and getting in is the easy part.
Both of these reasons are why we want so much to help these students to better understand themselves and their learning needs, so they can structure their learning and lives to support them through to a successful outcome (whatever that may look like for them). We are trying to get Universities on board as well so they can build connections and align support with students most in need.
Queen Be is such an inspiring initiative for women going through menopause. What led you to create this community, and how does it help women navigate what can often be a challenging time?
My own personal journey with perimenopause (the symptom stage before periods actually stop) was pretty tough. My hormones never settled down after having my children (my youngest is 10) and they started getting worse.
Initially my anxiety was crippling. Even when I was pregnant with my youngest I struggled. I would see my husband and elder daughter off at the gate and watch until they had gone over the hill because that could be the last time I ever saw them.
Every day. If I read a story about a child or some well-meaning person (often my mum) would tell me about something that had happened to a child I would start imagining that happening to my own. No matter how unrealistic it would be. This kept spiralling and it was definitely hard to talk to anyone about it.
I eventually broke down with a friend and just let it all spill out – it was like a dam wall bursting. I could then see that I needed to get help, but in the middle of it, I was lost. My doctor was very supportive – but no mention of hormones being an influence – and luckily I was prescribed something that also works well with menopause, boosting serotonin, and not strong anti anxiety medication which is often the case.
A few years later I was talking through with a friend all the things going on (aches and pains, still watching my thoughts to make sure I didn’t start to spiral, poor sleep, forgetfulness, fogginess) and she said “sounds like you have perimenopause”. Say what? I’d never even heard of it before.I always thought it was something that happened to “Old” women, which I think is because in the 80s, the Golden Girls were in their 50s and they looked old!
Soon after I started getting the hot flushes at night and when I saw my doctor his response was “It certainly sounds like menopause but that usually doesn’t happen until you are 51” (I was 47 by this time). This sounded really specific, and so I started doing research. The more I learned, the more I realised that most women (or females assigned at birth) have no idea about menopause and perimenopause and the impact is staggering.
In Australia, approximately 80,000 women each year start perimenopause, and roughly 20% of the workforce is experiencing menopause symptoms – even if they don’t know that’s what it is. The suicide rate for women is highest in these age brackets, and many women think they are going crazy or they have early dementia. It is so scary!
I believe I lost a very close cousin to suicide because her perimenopause symptoms were not recognised or appreciated. She had bipolar and what we now know is that hormonal changes impact every part of our bodies, particularly our brains – meaning that her bipolar would have seemed worse, the medication wouldn’t have been as effective, and unfortunately her specialist advised her that this was the best it would get and essentially, it’s downhill from here.
The more women I talk to, the more I see that there is a real gap in knowledge and support. Our doctors and medical specialists do not get training in women’s hormones, and yet women are hormonal beings. It’s just how we are created. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be able to adapt to create new beings and readapt again.
Even pharmaceutical studies were done using male rats because the hormones in female rats made things more complicated. Women weren’t required to be involved in medical studies until the 1990s – well after man went to the moon. Perhaps our hormones are much more complicated than space travel.
So what about Queen Be? A lot of what I am doing is about creating relatable, easy to understand resources for everyday women – and also those who are interested to know more so that they can better support them. Research is happening and we are learning new things all the time – but it isn’t always easy to understand what comes out.
One of my skills is in translating research into normal everyday language. One of the big challenges for women is that we tend to talk about symptoms using labels, rather than what that looks and feels like as an experience.
We are also starting an online community – a private space ($10 flat fee to join) for women to ask questions and share how they are feeling and what is working or not working for them. I’d like to bring in experts and specialist coaches into this space at some stage, when things are financially established.
There are many amazing women working in this space and we cross promote their programs (everyone is different and it’s about who and what works best for an individual). I will also be launching our Queen Be transformation programs soon as well as coaching. Our programs will focus on supporting women to step into their next selves (and help them bring out their best).
In February we will be hosting our first annual “Navigating the Change” online menopause summit with some fantastic guest speakers and workshops. The speaking element of the program will be free, because we want as many women across Australia (and beyond) to access without barriers, and the workshops will be paid to help support the delivery and pay our amazing facilitators.
Self-awareness and self-confidence are central themes in both your education and menopause work. How do you encourage people, whether they’re students or women in menopause, to build up these empowering traits?
You are so right! I think they are key to being successful and feeling successful in life, whatever you are doing.
For me, it’s really about believing in people and through sharing stories, building connections between what they do well now and what they want to achieve, and definitely asking thoughtful questions to encourage them to reflect and relate.
It’s actually something that we all can do whether that is in the workplace or in our personal lives. There’s a few parts to it.
- Being Genuine. Actually being interested in what the other person is experiencing and what they aspire towards.
- Believing in Their Potential. Paying attention to what they do well and where they are happiest. Assuming that people are wanting to do their best, not their worst as a starting point.
- Asking positive framed (non judgemental) Questions. One of the greatest gifts of learning coaching skills is the art of asking well formed questions, along with listening to understand what is happening for the other person. As a side note, asking “Why someone did something” is a question with a load of judgement wrapped up in it.
- Encouraging them to think and experiment with ideas safely. As in, they are not afraid of you/others, or of what will happen if they do things or think differently.
- Recognising when they are doing things well and asking them what they thought were the key parts to their success.
- Providing positive feedback (not feedback sandwiches) AFTER asking if they are open to having feedback. Respect that what they need to hear to improve may not be what you need to offload!
- And of course all of this is dependent on respect for the other person and trust.
Through Learn2Learn, you’re helping students overcome personal and educational barriers. What are some success stories that stand out to you, where someone overcame challenges and thrived in their studies?
Hmm, there have been the obvious grade increases (Swinburne University of Technology research identified a direct link between the amount of the program completed and a 10% increase (average) in grades. Most students also report a greater retention of knowledge, increased use of study strategies, mindset changes and boosting confidence.
We’ve also had someone share that the program gave them the confidence to leave a DV relationship and put steps in place to feel safe to follow their dreams of a better life. And another credited the program with saving her mental health after her dreams felt dashed – and she went on to increase her grades by 20% and reignite her dreams of becoming a paramedic.
More recently in our LIVE program we heard students say how much it has changed what they do and feel across all facets of their lives, and how it helped with gaining internships after the program.
Menopause is often surrounded by stigma or misunderstanding. How does Queen Be work to break down these barriers and create a space where women feel supported and informed about their health and well-being?
There are a few aspects to this. The first is personal. What are the messages we receive about Menopause? Does it mean that we are now old, finished, of no more use? Are we now broken, miserable and moaning?
There are definitely many cultural influences in how we are perceived and how we perceive ourselves. In the western, youth focused culture it is often seen as something to be fought rather than celebrated. And yet, for many women the upside of menopause is a shedding of the hormonal-driven need for approval which is so exciting.
At Queen Be we are working on this in a few ways. Firstly purely through the free provision of resources that people can relate to, all in one place. That includes expert interviews through our podcast, and it will be expanding continually.
We also are launching our online community space where we share updates, stories and experiences. To be really clear, it is a community not a doctors office – we don’t give advice but we do help women discover the options they have available to them. It is about being accessible, but also importantly about respect and safety.
Women are in a vulnerable state if they are experiencing severe symptoms or are in negative home environments, and we take our responsibility here very seriously. We have a strict advertising policy to ensure women are not being pitched at or at risk of being taken advantage of. We do promote programs by other providers where we have strong relationships and a shared vision of supporting women, and we pass on any offered benefits.
Workplace lunch and learns/ group presentations (online and in the Central Queensland area). These are a great way to start thinking and talking about supporting women and others experiencing challenging times, in the workplace. One of the concerns held by myself and others in this space is that educating workplaces around menopause could lead to discrimination, such as that which sadly still happens for women in their child-bearing era. There is so much to be said for respecting and trusting our employees regardless of the when and how they work best.
Transformational programs and coaching (online). These are an opportunity to discover how women would like the next stage of their lives to be. We are in our mid-life, and there is so much we can do and be! This is designed to help women to move from surviving to thriving! Do you want your days to have more meaning in them, or do you perhaps want to make an impact in the world? We really want women to make the most of their lives and of course, to realise their full potential, whatever that looks like to them.
Finally, we are working on creating our first annual online “Navigating the Change” menopause summit in February. Queen Be is project managing and we are working with experts across different fields to create an experience that not only informs, but also sets women and others up to make positive changes in their lives. It’s so exciting!
You’re based in Darumbal Country in the Rockhampton Region. How does the connection to your local community and land influence the work you do with both Queen Be and Learn Grow Become?
Great question. When we first moved here it was like coming home. I felt like my spirit belonged here, and it was so grounding. Coming from growing up in Bendigo and then living in Melbourne and London, I didn’t know much about Indigenous history, we certainly weren’t taught about it in Australian History!
I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many inspiring Indigenous folk here – both Darumbal and others. One of my good friends Dr Melinda Mann is our Indigenous Education Advisor for Learn Grow Become and together we have developed an Indigenous wrap-around program for Learn2Learn, and it also inspired me to make a big part of our social contract about giving back in reparation at least part of what has been lost through colonisation.
With so many projects focused on empowerment and self-growth, how do you manage your own well-being and ensure that you’re able to thrive while helping others do the same? Do you have any daily practices or habits that keep you grounded and energised?
I’d love to say I’m really good at it, but like most people I have good and bad days.
Currently, my big menopause challenges are brain fog (imagine not being able to think your way to the end of a sentence) and fatigue, and they come and go. Fortunately I do work from home most of the time and can manage my productivity around these challenges. I’m much better at giving myself permission to rest rather than burning out.
Napping when needed boosts your mental clarity and productivity. Letting go of the perception that sitting at a desk from 9-5 is what you should do to be successful. Being more creative with how I do things and planning out my week and days with a few key things rather than a to do list. We also have a dog who comes and tells me she needs to go out for a play, which gets me out in the garden for some down time.
Family time is really important to me, and playful family time at that. I try to structure my work to be available for my girls after school, and set aside some days each week over the school holidays for adventures together. It isn’t always easy but important things often aren’t. Also taking time out for myself, I did an art class last Saturday for example, is key to maintaining my sense of self and probably my sanity.
Teaching people about how to improve their health and wellbeing during menopause for a better life after menopause, along with listening more to my body, has seen me make some definite changes. I’ve cut out caffeine for a while, and whilst I do love my red wine, I’ve made the switch to mid strength (yet to find a zero that tastes like wine) which means I get to enjoy the flavour without the impact. I also eat more salads because a Mediterranean diet is the way to go.
The big thing I think, and it is under-rated, is the importance of social interaction for personal growth and wellbeing – particularly cognitively as we get older! And by this I mean with people you find interesting and whose company you enjoy. It can be online, which is why a community that gets you is so important.
